Having your pie and eating it

Friday 19 March, 2010

Today was the last full day of class and I am relieved to be honest. It has been both a rewarding and a challenging week. I find it difficult to worth with frat-boy type A males who have little or no interest in the work that the women in the class are doing. They were all so busy pumping up each other's egos by going for “home runs” and “kicking arse” with their photographs that I tended to switch off rather than shout out loud. Sometimes there is more power in staying silent and not responding in the way they want you to...

The evening show was amazing. Our class was about “capturing the soul” in our portraits. I think the work was astounding in the range of points of view and the different moods captured. The images were set to “Don't Dream It's over” by Crowded House and “Old Man” by Neil Young. They really worked well with the poignancy of the images.

Saturday 20 March, 2010

The teacher was going on about how we “kicked arse” last night in our slideshow of the week's work. He had been determined all week to be better than the Joe McNally's class. Man! It was painful to feel that it was a reflection of his worth as a photographer to have the best images on show from his class.
I said to him that I was just proud of my work from the week and of the class's achievements. I pointed out that to me the week was all about making beautiful images. I told Paul that I didn't have his competitive drive with my work and that I was coming at it from a different angle. I guess I will never make big bucks selling my work commercially in NYC as my motivations are different. It took guts for me to say it but I said it in a way that stroked his ego so as not to get him off side- pathetic, I know. Maybe he was listening to me but I couldn't tell. I don't understand the man. I can see depth, perception and soul in his photographs but not in the man. I did not know that one could make such beautiful images and be such an xyz.

I am learning to keep my trap shut more these days. I try to only say something when I really think it will make a difference for the better. If I think it won't make any difference, I try and keep the cakehole closed. I am not getting weaker, but just learning to choose my battles. Is this part of the process of the getting of wisdom?

I just put my I-pod on and the music is the song that was playing when Geoff and the girls walked away at the airport. “Don't Stop Believing” from the Glee soundtrack. Ouch! I can see them in the distance heading to the exit as I watched them until I couldn't cope with the thought of being away from them for so long.

The lyrics are so appropriate for me as I am starting to believe in myself as a photographer. I really am learning that it is so much about self-promotion and self-belief in spite of whether or not you get the accolades from others. I have to be proud of myself before the opinions of others can start to matter to me. Easier said than done. Geoff has always believed in me and it is because of him that I am here. He encouraged me to do this for me. What a man!

I am past half way on this journey. It is a good feeling to be thinking about what to do next with my work.

Today I walked around to Museum Hill to see the Museum of Indian Arts & Culture and The Museum of International Folk Arts. They are amazing collections. The Museum of Indian Arts and Culture has rooms full of beautiful pottery from the Pueblos, including Zuni, Santa Domingo and Tesuque. The pots, plates and bowls are predominately black and earthy colours dating from as early as the 6th century to present day. There are some original native American costumes dating from the 19th century with the suede fringing and turquoise beading.

The Museum of International Folk Arts is gorgeous. There are incredible embroidery and patchworks from all over the world. My favourite was a friendship quilt from New England dating from the 1880s. Each piece was hand quilted with an individual red cut-out pattern on a white square signed by each women who contributed. It had such a sense of community. The clothing from around the world included Iran, Afghanistan, Sweden, India and China were very colourful and skilled. The embroidery samplers were amazing. I have never seen such tiny stitching- maybe a millimetre in size.

I bought some jewellery on sale at the gift shop. My favourite was a sterling silver and peridot necklace with a picture of Frida Khalo in a sterling locket backing. It is a one of a kind and it was half price so I had to have it.

Then I walked into town taking snow photos on the way- this took me an hour but was fun. My face was numb from the cold. Even though it wasn't snowing anymore, the wind was blowing snow from the trees into my face along the way. I had gloves, beanie, scarf and ski jacket over my normal clothes and I was still cold. The weather has been very changeable-from a hot and sunblock day at the ranch to snowy blizzards on the Santa Fe Trail.

I stumbled across the San Miguel Church on my way. It is the oldest church building in the USA, dating from 1610. I did some photos of it- very basic and pretty in and out.

I made it to The Plaza Cafe for lunch at about 3.30pm. I was darn hungry by then (as I only had a small breakfast at 8am) so I ordered the combination plate: chicken taco (soft), cheese enchilada and tamale with green and red chile. On the side, you get a sopaipilla which is a light fried pastry bread that has to be drizzled with honey to cut through the chile. I downed a large milky coffee that warmed the cockles of my heart.

There were lots of cowboys in the cafe today. Maybe I am just noticing them more now but it seems every second guy has a hat.

Lesleigh said I had to have some pie while I was here. I got take-out pie for dinner tonight. My choices were as follows:
Key lime pie
Coconut Cream Pie
Red Velvet Cake
Carrot Cake (with marzipan carrots on top)
Choc mud layer cake
Crème Caramelle flan
Cherry Pie
Caramel Pecan Apple Pie

Can you imagine the conundrum and stress this caused for a girl who likes dessert? The caramel pecan apple pie won and I am about to photograph it and then eat it.

On Thursday, I met an Aussie called Edwina Pickles, She is a staff photographer for the Sydney Morning Herald. She is great fun. I love her Aussie accent. It makes me feel like less of an alien to have someone else sound strange too.

I went to the most beautiful jewellery store in town. They have mostly antique turquoise and silver pieces dating from the 30s and 40s- much more attractive than the modern day pieces. The shop is full of belt buckles, rings, bracelets, necklaces and brooches. I love the green turquoise more than the blue. I couldn't decide which ring I liked the most and then they wanted to close the store, so I will have to go back if time permits.

Whilst trying on a hundred different rings, I was talking to the elderly lady whose daughter owns the shop. I told her I was from NZ and had 3 kids. She asked me if I was pregnant with another one. Now, I know I have been eating too much (see pie reference above) and moving too little, but I really don't think things are that bad yet. I said to her in a diplomatic tone that I was wearing lots of clothes because it was cold... Mental note to self- suck that stomach in. If she hadn't just finished telling me she was turning 83 next week, I would have jumped over that jewellery counter and done some serious rock and roll wrestling on her. But no, I was taught to respect my elders, so I shut my trap. What was I saying about learning to zip it in the opening paragraph of today's blog entry?

Time to eat pie by myself on a Saturday night in a convent in Snowy Santa Fe listening to Ladyhawke.